Not My Will, But Yours…

Have I mentioned one of the benefits, or blessings, of learning Spanish here at ILE, in the midst of over 100 other missionaries, is that we have chapel twice a week. This morning’s message was led by Julie Chamberlain, the ILE director, and intertwined the Lord’s Prayer with worship songs. When she got to the passage Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven, she used as an example, Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemene: Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done, or paraphrased, “Father, I don’t want to go through this suffering, but more than that, what’s really important, is that Your will be done – that’s what I really want.” (MBV – Mister Bill Version!).

Many of you know Sandy is undergoing treatment for Hepatitis-C. It is a 48-week program complete with weekly injections and six pills daily. The side effects she is experiencing include extreme exhaustion (can no longer walk to school without stopping at the park part way – it was a 10-minute walk – and nearly mandatory afternoon naps) and frequent headaches (such that even light is painful). Not to mention the pain from the shots themselves, the depression, the lowered white blood cell count leaving her with a weakened immune system, etc.

Sandy had a blood test two weeks ago that measures the viral load in her system. If the results of that test show her viral load is now undetectable, her 48-week program can be reduced to 24-weeks. We got the results yesterday and her viral load had decreased from 10+ million to about 170,000 – a tremendous response to the medication, but not undetectable; hence no shortening of her program.

Needless to say we were disappointed. Hadn’t we done everything right? Hadn’t we obeyed God’s call to leave family and friends to do God’s work? Hadn’t we already submitted to God’s will for our lives? Why didn’t God either heal her outright, or at least minimize the treatment program. Others get that benefit, why not us?

Then the chapel lesson this morning… yet not My will, but Yours.

OUCH! What did Jesus do to deserve death on a cross? Why did He have to suffer so much? Didn’t He deserve better? What a poignant reminder that it’s not about what we deserve, it’s not about how good we are, it’s not about how comforted we are – it’s all about submitting to His will even when we don’t understand it. It’s all about having the right perspective. It’s not about us – it’s all about Him and trusting in the faith that comes from Him.

Wow! Do you see God at work here? Yesterday we get “bad news” and are distressed that we cannot cut our suffering short, and this morning a message about yet not My will, but Yours – who could have better timing than God Himself?

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us when we didn’t deserve it. Thank you, Jesus, for the life we have. Thank you, Jesus, for the sacrifice You made for us. May we continue in Your will, not ours.